How To Continue Spiritual Practices After Marriage?
4622 views | 04 Feb 2010
Q: Maa, now a days I am wondering desperately. I used to attend satsang whenever I got chance in my early age. My desire was to wonder like a monk. But now, I am married & have two children. I am finding myself like a dry wood. I am behaving like an ordinary fellow not like a seeker. Anger, hatred, jealousy & such bad habits have consumed me. I am not getting peace of mind. I am trying to overcome all these. But my endeavours are going in vain. Maa, Kindly guide me. I want to get librated. Gurumaa: Well Sudarsan, that is what your life is & this is the choice which you make. So dont be angry upon your choices also and dont accuse your marriage or children or your wife for your failures in your spiritual growth. That guilt should not be either on your children or wife or even upon youself. So what you got married? Shri Krishna married 16000 times, so what? If we delete these 16000 times then 8 marriages are very much for sure, he married 8 times. So what? Shri Guru Gobind Singh married twice. So what? Yagwalkya was married twice. So what? So if their marriages couldn't disturb them, then how come this marriage institution can disturb any aspirants life? The only thing is you went into marriage with an untrained mind. You went into marriage because of lust & passion. You never went into marriage to have a structural, disciplined life & this is the amazing s for you. One can be married & still be very disciplined in their life style. Lahiri Mahasaya, one of the yoga masters who lived long ago in Banaras was married, had children, so what? But was a very advanced yogi, who had disciples like Sri Swami Yukteswar who further had disciples like Swami Yoganada who had popularised yoga & vedanta in America, & in Europe and did commendable job. Marriage can not be detrimental to once spiritual growth; this is the thing you have to know. Sudarshan! My suggestion is that may be in my next shivir, do come & learn what you should have to learnt before going into marriage & you couldnt do that. But it is never late and don't be sorry for yourself & marriage is not a curse. But I will teach you. Well, this marriage of yours would become a great beneficiary institution for you & you wont feel sorry. Love your children; you have given birth to them. Love them but dont be attached with them. Love your wife but dont be attached with her. Can you do that? Thats the bigger challenge. Becoming a monk and wondering on the tirtha is so simple thing, no challenges. Now, you have a challenge in front of you. A lovely wife and two kids & now you have to see how you can disassociate your mind from the family. And wife gave you a chance to explore your physical needs & urges. Dont blame her, dont blame the marriage. That is too wrong on your part. If you really wanted to become a monk then I put a direct question. Why did you get married? And now, if you have married, now you again are complaining about the marriage. This just shows that you are a weak person who has such a weak mind & who is not ready to take responsibility of his own actions and this is not a decent thing to do.