Impact Of Extramarital Affairs
48993 views | 05 Apr 2010
Q: My wife made an extra marital affair which lasted for 4 months. I know she is not a kind of lady who would do this in her dreams. I am unable to forgive this and I scold her many times & I had hit her too. I am sorry about that, she got pregnant I was not sure about his father though she said it is mine. Hence, I forced her to abort it. Now I am feeling guilty of doing it. She is not with me & I am burning in fire of prayashchit. Please let me know what should I do to get rid of this sinking feeling & how I can forgive & forget her & live happily with her? Gurumaa : Rohit, it was indeed an unfortunate situation, but I would say that there is no fun now crying on the spilled milk, crying about all those past events which have happened. She falling in relationship with another man, you hitting her & scolding her & making her abort her child, which was a very-very bad thing because it is never a good thing to a baby. Child is a gift of God. And yes it was out of the wed lock, so your male ego wouldnt ever accept and that to an Indian male who is so gloating with their manly hood & your minds are so immature. You & your wife both I would say: that you couldnt work out your relationship & she had to find consolation or a good time with some one else. Any how, how do you forgive and forget. I believe you just have to put yourself in her place if you had done the similar thing & if she had kicked you out, what would you feel at that time. Just be in her shoes, just be in her place; and may be this will help you to forgive her & also forgive yourself for being so cruel. Married life always comes with some challenges and these flings or extra marital affairs are something which are like a Rahu which is giving evil shadow. And you never know why a person faults, why a person takes a course but bygones be bygones & if you wish to be with her then make a positive effort in this direction. And I hope that you are able to come out of this ill feeling which is pounding you so much & you may come out of this anguish. Talk to her, have a solid communication with her & dont brand one another, dont feel guilty that it was something short of you that she had to look out side of her marriage and dont judge her. Who knows why a person commits a certain action? But if you have any good feelings for her which as per your question I am reading is, that you are burning in the fire of prayashchit. I think so, you dont need to do that, dont burn yourself with the guilt; better make a fresh start, sit with her, talk to her but dont hit her by hitting. You arent change anything. She needs your sympathy and love and you too need her love & attention. So better give that to one another.