The Shiva Purana narrates how Parvati wins Shiva’s love – not by her beauty or wealth, but by her one-pointed devotion and intense yogic practice. It is not a story of an ordinary wedding but about a divine union with symbolic significance.
Parvati's Tapasya
One day, a desire arose in Parvati's mind to seek Shiva‘s darshan and marry him. However, she was a princess, the daughter of mountain king Himavan, who wanted to marry an ascetic, the lord of yogis. How could a yogi and a bhogi (pleasure seeker) match? She became downhearted and stopped eating and drinking. Her friends and maidservants asked what was troubling her, but she kept quiet. Her father thus called Devrishi Narada to talk to her.
Narada knew that in her previous life, she had been Shiva’s wife, Sati and would doubtlessly reunite with him again. He asked her, “Devi, you are a princess, he is an ascetic, how will you make a pair? To woo a renunciate, you need to do appropriate sadhana. And your makeup, clothes and bracelets will be barriers. How will he accept such a decorated lady?” Parvati thus removed her silk and jewellery and tied her beautiful long hair. She left the palace barefoot and sat under a tree to commence her sadhana, as instructed by Narada.
The mother was sorrowful seeing her daughter sit outside in the cold. She gave a mattress and blankets to the servants to make her comfortable. Parvati said, “You folk are disturbing my sadhana. I will go forth from here as well.” The mother was crying, but Parvati got up from her seat and went straight into the dense forest to do her penance there.
She did such fierce austerities that she became thin and emaciated. Narada told Shiva, “Prabhu, she is waiting and hoping for you. Go and give her darshan.” Shiva was also aware she had been his wife Sati in her previous birth, but he did not want to open that chapter once again. “Let her stay and do her tapasya, it is good for anyone to do. If she does it, very good.”
Parvati’s practice kept going with even more intensity. She became so engrossed and absorbed that from eating twice a day, she cut down to one meal. And in time, she left eating altogether because her breath had become suspended in kevali kumbhaka. Parvati became unaware of day or night, as she had attained the state of samadhi. This yogini suffered neither heat nor cold, rain or snow because her assiduity was only to attain Mahadev.
Seeing her penance, other rishis like Atri implored Mahadev to fulfil her desire, but he refused. A long time had lapsed – time passes slowly when you are in the pain of separation. But in these difficulties, if there is one support, one refuge, then it is the blessings of the Guru. It was Narada who had assured her of success if her resolve was firm. He was her Guru who had taught the path of sadhana to Parvati – yama, niyama, asana, dharana, dhyana; how to calm the vrittis and raise the vritti of Shiva (Absolute Existence) inside. Her mind was of the highest category, so it did not take her years to grasp it – only a weak intellect would listen for years and still not get it. Parvati was a woman of such brilliance that upon hearing the teaching she learnt, understood and took it to practice.
She was practising and practising, and a moment came when what she was holding in her mind appeared before her face-to-face. “Devi, what do you want?”, asked Mahadev. Parvati touched his feet and answered, “I want you and nothing else.” After long penance, this one moment culminated all her longing, dispassion and love. Mahadev said, “Devi, I accept you. Now go home and tell your parents.”
Back in the palace, Parvati announced the news. Maina started to cry, “My beautiful daughter, you got only him? I have heard that he lives in the jungle or on the mountain and does not wear clothes. His company are snakes and spirits – you are fond of him? You have done so much austerity for this?” Despite her mother’s despair, Parvati did not relent, and the marriage was announced.
From Ascetic to Attractive Groom
Mahadeva came to the wedding, followed by a procession of ghosts, yogis and avadhootas. Some were naked, others wearing just a loincloth, few leaves, or even carrying a snake. And all of them would shout, “Bam, bam, bam!” Normally, a wedding procession would shower flowers and colours, but this one rained ashes from the cremation ground! Maina heard this clamour from afar, and as the procession came in sight, she fell unconscious.
Vishnu, who had been observing the whole scene, said, “Hey Bholenath, come here. How are you looking? They will be afraid. Please allow me to adorn you properly.” Mahadev, a hatha yogi after all, stayed adamant. He said, “This is how she likes me; she chose me in this form. I will go as I am.” Here, Parvati had become a beautiful bride. She mentally told her husband-to-be that her family was terrified and doubted her choice: “As I see you, most auspicious and compassionate – please appear in such a form for their sake.” Her silent request reached Shiva’s mind, who relented and agreed to be dressed.
After holy bathing rituals, Lakshmi combed his hair and put kajal on his eyes. Brahma donned him a crown and a beautiful garland of lotus flowers, and Vishnu put a tilak on his forehead. Shiva’s skin had turned dark after years of austerity, but now he became fair and splendorous. Kubera, the lord of wealth, came with treasures, put anklets on the feet of the king of yogis and presented him with silken dhoti and angavastra.
Shiva turned into such a resplendent bridegroom that Vishnu asked Lakshmi to cover his eyes, as he became enthralled by his radiant face and tender, gleaming smile. That is how Bholenath presented himself, riding on his bull Nandi. Even his following enjoyed the unusual darshan. He commanded them to also take a bath and get dressed. Vishnu adorned each of them with garlands and arranged them such that the handsome ones stood in front, the elderly ones further away, and the ghosts behind Nandi. When Shiva was an ascetic, Parvati also became one. But when it was time to get married, Shiva appeared as a most pleasing husband.
Maina regained her senses and opened her eyes, seeing the arriving procession. Surprised, she asked, “What is shining so brightly in this dark night?” Devi said, “It is the crown of your future son-in-law.” Her friends opened the wedding with great joy, blowing their conches, laughing and dancing.
Mahadev’s Message
Why do we remember Shiva and his life? One of the many reasons is that he is the role model for how a householder should be. When it is time to get married, get married with great pomp, music and dance. He is a sannyasi without possessions and is always involved in meditativeness and samadhi. But when Parvati does great penances to win him over, he is happy – not because of her beauty or being a princess, but because she became a great yogini. That is how Parvati wins Mahadev as a husband.
And when it is time to take people’s problems and sufferings unto you, then drink the poison, but never let it go down to your heart, keeping it just at the throat. Mahadev is the epitome of compassion, so he shows that when it is required to be compassionate, then be with abundance.
One of Shiva’s names is Pashupatinath because he teaches us how to manage our animal instincts. Pashu means animal, and pati means lord – one who is lord of his animal instincts and not propelled by them. Regarding discipline and yogic practices, Mahadev expounded all yogic practices known to mankind. That is why he is called the Guru of Gurus.
Shiva accepted even ghosts – meaning those whose minds are like that. He did not say that you are not good or tamasic. Because he gives without discriminating, he is called Augharhdani. He bestows worldly things to worldly folk and absolute truth to seekers of truth. One established in this truth will never be averse to the world. If you are a lover of the Lord, how can you oppose the world? It is not possible to love the artist but hate his work. This world has to be loved equally and immensely, but with an attitude of detachment – not being obsessive about it.
If you are a yogi or sannyasi, be like Mahadev. If you are living a worldly life, be like him, too. We do not worship or remember Mahadev because of his powers, but because his message is that if you are a good sadhak, you can become Shiva yourself. That is why in Bharat, Shiva is worshipped by one and all.
Yogic Symbolism
This divine union has a yogic interpretation, too. Shiva is your param chetana, the supreme consciousness. Its seat in the human body is the Sahasrara chakra, the seventh energy plexus on the crown of the head. Shakti is kundalini, the energy residing in the Mooladhara chakra in the perineum region. So, Shiva and Shakti exist both in your body, though now they are separate and do not meet. But Mahadeva is also called Ardhanarishwara, depicted as half woman, half man. It is a symbol of the inner union of Shiva and Shakti. When this happens, the mind becomes absorbed in samadhi, and that is what Shivratri means for a yogi.
