Rishihood University, Sonipat, invited Anandmurti Gurumaa for a talk on Yoga Nidra and how it can benefit students and educators alike. The second part of the session allowed for questions from the audience: What defines success? How to raise children to become empathetic human beings? And how to shift the focus from mere money-making to true happiness? The insightful discussion that ensued is shared here.
Questioner: How do we define success in youngsters today? Is it getting a one-lakh salary or five crore or creating a successful start-up?
Gurumaa: Everybody is free to define success in their own way. But, at the end of the day, if you have a smile on your lips and deep sleep in your head, you are a successful person.
Questioner: When we were growing up, success was defined by our career achievements. But today, I see people in their thirties dropping their jobs and finding fulfilment in a lifestyle closer to nature. How do we accept that as a parent?
Gurumaa: I think you want your child to be happy rather than miserable but having billions. Success is not about how many zeros are on your bank accounts or how many houses you own. This is a very hedonistic idea. We have forgotten our roots and principles. Let me remind you about the four goals of human life according to our scriptures: dharma, artha, kama, and moksha – righteousness (dharma), wealth (artha), fulfilling desires (kama), and spiritual liberation (moksha). We do not deny anything. But dharma should underpin your desires (kamana) and wealth (artha), for without dharma, they become meaningless.
Wherever this intelligence is blooming, people are opting for alternative ways of life. I know four IIT graduates who have taken to farming, the dairy business, or bought orchards in Himachal Pradesh. They wear simple kurtas but sleep well. Dharma should be the foundation, which was not the case when they were growing up. They were never taught how to manage their minds. Parents and teachers talked about money and external things; nobody taught them that just by chanting a mantra with the correct technique, they could achieve the high feeling that a druggy seeks. If people knew how to develop good concentration, they would not fail their exams or be overwhelmed by parental pressure.
Dharma does not mean just religion or rituals; it is about understanding life and death, and knowing what wealth or family can give you and what they cannot. Nobody completes you. You should feel that “I am complete in my own capacity. I do not need wealth, a partner, or others' approval to complete me.” If you lack satiation, you are a failure. Some may be a failure by being a billionaire, and some will be as a pauper.
If you have dharma in your life, along with intelligence, clear perception and intuition, it does not matter whether you are a peon or a vice-chancellor. Furthermore, a peon should be given as much respect as the principal. The day we do not respect others and ourselves and mistake material prosperity for success, we have gone wrong as a society.
Questioner: My daughter is 15. I have tried to nurture her to be an empathetic and kind human being. But out there, kindness and empathy are not always reciprocated. How do we teach children to stay true to themselves?
Gurumaa: Teach your child to be a lion and not a lamb. A lamb gets pushed around by others. A movie changes their dress sense, their shoes, and which place they want to go. After a movie shot in Turkey or China, everyone will go to Turkey or China. I call this “lamb syndrome”. So, please do not be a lamb yourself; be a lioness.
For example, some students who participated in my Youth Shivir later changed the environment in their universities and colleges by forming Yoga Nidra clubs there. The students took charge and now lead these workshops. The Rishi Chaitanya Ashram is where I teach them how to become a lion or a lioness – not a lamb, please!
Questioner: How can we teach our children the difference between happiness and money-making? Today, most students still equate the two.
Gurumaa: Society is largely hedonistic, which impacts them. No child likes to listen to preachings, but if they see you meditating or singing, they may follow your example. How many of you sing and dance at home? Please do that! Allow them to experience creative arts like music, dance, pottery, or painting; make them walk in the jungle. And especially expose them to hatha yoga. If youngsters practise hatha yoga and pranayama, they will transform themselves. These are some efforts you can make.
Find ways to help the child understand that money does not give you everything. If that were so, it would be so easy! We could go on Amazon, order 5kg of happiness and have it delivered to our doorstep! You can buy food with money, but not hunger; a mattress, but not restful sleep. Money cannot buy love or wisdom. We need to explore all those.
The onus is not only on parents but also on teachers. Today, kids have access to everything on their phones, whether music or pornography. But only when they have viveka (discriminative wisdom) can they make the right choices.
My suggestion is to read the Bhagavad Gita. I have created a concise format with shlokas, their meaning, and phonetics. I am so happy to see that some youngsters have this book on their laptops. When you buy a new appliance, you get a manual booklet with it, right? But you received this human body and mind without any booklet – “How to Navigate Your Life.” What to do? If we do not know how to use this mind, it quickly becomes corrupted, like water tends to flow down. It falls easily, but to rise takes hard work. That is why the company we keep is very important, particularly having an awakened person in one’s life. Without that, what will kids do? They will run after name, fame and power.
Gautam Buddha left his princely life in search of Truth. King Janaka, troubled by existential questions, sought after Truth. He sat with Ashtavakra and attained self-realisation. But he did not renounce his responsibilities; he remained a king and became Sita’s father. Brahmavidya (Self-knowledge) is important. It is found in the Gita, Upanishads, and Guru Granth Sahib, and I use these sources to present this Truth with a scientific attitude.
At my youth camps, young ones learn to meditate, practise asanas, have a crazy dance and sing – and cry when it is time to go back home! They have so much fun. They say, “If only our school were like that. When is the next holiday?” We need to think about it and present a vibrant, creative environment to our children. They are our hope, and the future of the country depends on them. I try to do whatever I can in my capacity, and I hope you have taken some cues.
